The bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah is an essential milestone in the lives of young Jewish people, and candle lighting ceremonies are a way that they can honor their loved ones who have been there for them. There are usually 13 candles at bar mitzvahs, while bat mitzvahs generally have 12. It is not uncommon to add an extra candle if you want to honor another person.

Who Are You Going to Honor?

Knowing how many candles you will light is crucial because it determines how many loved ones you can honor at your bar or bat mitzvah. If you have more than 13 or 14 important people in your life, it may be challenging to narrow down your list. Some choices, such as parents, might be easy, but picking which of your favorite aunts will get the final spot might be tricky.

Choose the Order



After you decide who you want to honor, you should determine the order in which you will invite each of them to light a candle with you. Many candle lighting ceremonies commemorate the deceased with the first candle. After the memorial candle, it is common to pay tribute to non-immediate family members like grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Next, you may want to honor distant relatives and family friends. After family friends, it may be the perfect time to celebrate your friends. The last few candles usually pay tribute to members of your immediate family, like parents and siblings.

Dedicate a Song to Each Person

Some modern bar and bat mitzvah ceremonies incorporate music into the candle lighting tradition. For each guest you choose to honor with a candle, you are expected to dedicate a song to them that will play as he or she walks up to light the candle with you.

Typically, people pick a song that the person likes or one that reminds them of the person. The song is still expected to be suitably appropriate for the diverse age group in attendance at the bar or bat mitzvah celebration, so a heavy metal or rap song may not be the best choice. A lot of people try to stick to a particular style or genre instead of alternating between genres.

Give a Speech for Each Person

You’ll likely be expected to give a short speech for each person honored and explain why you chose them. Certain choices may seem self-explanatory. If you have a healthy relationship with your parents, why wouldn’t you pick them? Moreover, they probably do not need an introduction. Still, it might be a good idea to say a few words about what they mean to you or why you appreciate them.

Practice

Once you decide on the order in which you want to honor the guests, you may benefit from memorizing it so you are prepared when it is time for the ceremony. Practicing your speeches may also help you feel more relaxed and less pressured when the time comes. Many trusted friends and family members would probably love to help you rehearse so your big day goes exactly as planned.

Amenities You May Want

Stage

Whether you want to be the center of attention during your candle lighting ceremony or you plan on having a DJ or band perform at the reception, a stage can be an excellent addition to nearly any bar or bat mitzvah party.

Dance Floor

Dancing is a fantastic way to keep guests entertained and energized on your big day. Choosing a venue with a dance floor could be a lot of fun.

Refreshments

Candle lighting ceremonies can take quite some time. Venues that offer soft drinks, water and coffee or tea can help keep guests hydrated, energized and happy.

Tour CrystalView for Your Bar or Bat Mitzvah in Washington D.C.

If you are looking for a luxurious venue in the D.C. area to host your candle lighting ceremony or bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah reception, CrystalView might be the right fit for you. We offer superb amenities in an elegant location. You can schedule a tour or learn more about CrystalView by browsing our website.